Dreams, Delusions & Made Decisions: A 20 Year Old’s Dream Come True
“My goal was to get something published by the time I turn 21 but it only seemed like wishful thinking or a pipe dream at best.”. Yet, at the age of 20, Nur Hanisa Binti Razalee can proudly that she has turned her dream into a reality.
Published under Terbitan Langit, Dreams, Delusions and Made Decisions is a 60-page zine of an anthology of poems from Hanisa, who goes under the pseudonym, Nisa Lee, a budding poet. The zine, which Includes poems dating back to the earliest of her poetic endeavours, discusses the struggles of living.
(Source: Nur Hanisa Binti Razalee)
Though the zine is not a reflection of her life in particular, it is reflective of life itself and what she has perceived it to be and all that she has learned from it.
“[The zine is] about heartbreak, but it’s also about family, self-love and looking for ways to keep the faith through the heights and plunges of love and loss.”
“My poems are often inspired by music, the stories I read, the people I meet and the monster which lives inside my head.”
Through writing her poems, Hanisa has learned that self-acceptance is fundamental in growth as one aspires to be the best version of themselves. Having each poem stem from a different part of her life, the zine chronicles her life through the light and the lows.
“This zine to me represents the trust and growth that is required for a journey to run its course,” says Hanisa.
However, it was never poetry which she loved first. As a child, having loved stories, she wrote short stories of her own. It was only at the age of 13 that she started to write poetry. Troubled by ideas of existentialism, she often wrote of butterflies in their search for the true meaning of life. “They weren’t very good,” she jokes.
“I think falling in love with poetry and prose for me was a process,” says Hanisa.
(Credit: Nur Hanisa Binti Razalee)
Coming a very long way from her butterfly poetry writing days, having her own zine published, to her, feels surreal. “It’s both nerve-inducing and very exciting at the same time,” says Hanisa.
However, the best part of being published is the ability to see her writing in a physical form, to see her zine displayed on a shelf for others to pick up and read.
“It’s an honour being able to feel like my work is worthwhile and of value to someone else,” she says.
With her zine out, Hanisa continues in the pursuit of her writing as she continues to write and get her work out as much as she can.
To all aspiring authors, she encourages all of you to take the most important but the hardest step of sending in your work. “It’s easy to catastrophize things and to lose yourself in the fear of being judged and not being good enough.”
“The first step is to believe in yourself and to take that leap of faith. There is never going to be a right time and you will never feel truly ready for anything, so take a chance on yourself and forgive yourself for any mistakes you might make along the way. I promise that it’ll bring you more good than bad, despite what the voice in your head might be telling you.”
To get a copy Dreams, Delusions and Made Decisions, you can head on over to Buku Fixi at Sunway Putra Mall for RM 10. Or, order it from Terbitan Langit by Whatsapping their number, .
To keep track of the poet, follow her on !
Featured Image Source: Nur Hanisa Binti Razalee
The sweetest person I’ve ever met.ever. and such healing, comforting writing. Caterpillars turn to butterflies and butterflies find their way in this world, someday, somewhere. It’s all a journey, a process and I’m glad this poet has shared parts of her life, bares her heart for us all to see just so we could all feel less lonely in this big, scary world.
Definitely a great read, one to be carried in a backpack wherever one goes, to be recited softly over a cup of coffee. A poet sees and feels the world differently, and through her writing, we gain a clearer understanding of ourselves as human beings. With her larger-than-life poems, Hanisa achieved that, beautifully. Every word is an expression of her as a person, as if there was no barrier between her and her pen and paper.